LocalTalent53 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
localtalent53) wrote2013-08-22 06:12 am
localtalent53) wrote2013-08-22 06:12 am
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Under the Warm Sky and why it failed as a study
I suppose this post has been a good three months in the making. It's quite clear that two things happened with the fanfic: 1) no one quite got what it was about and 2) I failed to properly convey said ideas.
Honestly, I'm not as surprised as I maybe should be. The whole thing was sort of a culmination of my thoughts regarding the first season and served as a tribute to it. Without iconic characters or a strong hook, it's no wonder it's not popular or read all that often. But the failure extends much deeper once the symbolism and structure is revealed to those who had not constructed it.
On the outside, the story appears to be a talk of God, illusions and the nature of SAO versus reality as it is discussed by two players of the game. However, the symbolism and conceits run much deeper into the narrative's structure than what is necessarily taken at face value. The entire piece was inspired deeply by the lost potential of the later episodes of the anime as a masterpiece on the blurred lines of reality when gaming culture is taken too far, and I wished to reflect the nature of that within the piece. This led me to experimenting with how different mindsets would adapt and intermingle in that otherworldly online culture.
As such, conceits for these mindsets needed to be created. Hence the conversation between the two players, each a mindset of those within the game. The girl is an optimist who wishes to take every advantage of the world she's in while she has the chance, accepting and appreciating Kabaya's narrative as an opportunity to live some kind of life while suspended from reality. The boy, on the other hand, fears for the world and its death as his mind is disillusioned by his lost faith in the world.
The next important aspect to take into account is the conceit of the sun and the careful actions of the two players. The sun and the warm sky it colors sit up as that impossible goal, setting ever farther away. The girl, attempting to live in the world she's been offered, reaches out toward the sunset as she stretches, beginning her gradual movement to standing up. The boy, ever the pessimist, gazes up in longing but makes no attempt to move toward the goal, as he has deemed it impossible. In fact, he even closes his eyes and further blocks out the sky from his sight. A dichotomy is formed in these actions; what few words are not spent on dialogue further illustrate the stark contrast in the characters.
What is most important in this piece is the final few lines, quoted here for reference:
Taking a few steps away from him she added, "If you need me, I'll be doing some side quests. There's this lady who needs me to hunt some animals for a special dinner. If you come along I'll share the reward with you. Would be nice to have a partner along the way."
"Thanks for the offer, but I'll have to decline. I'd rather go train and get money to upgrade my equipment. I'll join up with you afterward."
"Suit yourself." With that she wore a passive expression and walked off, obscuring the light of the sun from his vision as she did so.
What should be noted is the different play styles of the two characters; one focuses further on interaction with others while the other shrugs them off to grind. And here is where the point of the fic comes to light:
The story is about a marriage. A marriage of ideals and play styles intended to further each other to reaching that goal. Without a sense of reality, the optimist will overshoot and let fanciful realities swallow them up. Without a beacon of hope, the pessimist will sit and burn themselves to the ground as they die alone and without the comfort of others. Just as marriage in Sword Art Online is seen as a strategic maneuver for survival to some, here too it serves as the key to escape and success.
And yet the marriage is declined. The boy refuses to partake in the offer given to him. He chooses the cold deceit of self-pity over trying new ways to succeed. And it is through this action that both characters are doomed. When not merged together into a more realist-grounded perspective, they both suffer the defeat of division. The blocking of the sun in the final sentence serves as damnation for both as the potential for greatness is snuffed out forever.
Essentially, without an acceptance of both mindsets and the willingness to cooperate with others, escape from Sword Art Online becomes impossible. When the two mindsets collide and spark together (via Kirito and Asuna), a difference can finally be made and humanity can take another step into the future. And it is this nature that predominates the undertones of the narrative.
So why did it fail? I think the answer is more obvious now than when I wrote it. The piece is so complicated, and trying to get the message across in barely over 600 words is a daunting task indeed. To rely so heavily on a complicated structure and subtle conceits guaranteed that few would sit down and dissect it enough to get it (and damned those who tried, for it was too buried to be found).
In short, it's no wonder the story only has one review (as of this post) that claims it's an "interesting drabble, but rather pointless, really." I basically failed on an epic scale to convey the point of it. I suppose you have to fail quite a few times to get better though. For those of you who enjoyed it nonetheless, I thank you dearly. For those who found contention with it, I thank you as well for taking the time to stop and read it. It was quite a learning experience.
Under the Warm Sky can be read here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9189836/1/Under-the-Warm-Sky
Honestly, I'm not as surprised as I maybe should be. The whole thing was sort of a culmination of my thoughts regarding the first season and served as a tribute to it. Without iconic characters or a strong hook, it's no wonder it's not popular or read all that often. But the failure extends much deeper once the symbolism and structure is revealed to those who had not constructed it.
On the outside, the story appears to be a talk of God, illusions and the nature of SAO versus reality as it is discussed by two players of the game. However, the symbolism and conceits run much deeper into the narrative's structure than what is necessarily taken at face value. The entire piece was inspired deeply by the lost potential of the later episodes of the anime as a masterpiece on the blurred lines of reality when gaming culture is taken too far, and I wished to reflect the nature of that within the piece. This led me to experimenting with how different mindsets would adapt and intermingle in that otherworldly online culture.
As such, conceits for these mindsets needed to be created. Hence the conversation between the two players, each a mindset of those within the game. The girl is an optimist who wishes to take every advantage of the world she's in while she has the chance, accepting and appreciating Kabaya's narrative as an opportunity to live some kind of life while suspended from reality. The boy, on the other hand, fears for the world and its death as his mind is disillusioned by his lost faith in the world.
The next important aspect to take into account is the conceit of the sun and the careful actions of the two players. The sun and the warm sky it colors sit up as that impossible goal, setting ever farther away. The girl, attempting to live in the world she's been offered, reaches out toward the sunset as she stretches, beginning her gradual movement to standing up. The boy, ever the pessimist, gazes up in longing but makes no attempt to move toward the goal, as he has deemed it impossible. In fact, he even closes his eyes and further blocks out the sky from his sight. A dichotomy is formed in these actions; what few words are not spent on dialogue further illustrate the stark contrast in the characters.
What is most important in this piece is the final few lines, quoted here for reference:
Taking a few steps away from him she added, "If you need me, I'll be doing some side quests. There's this lady who needs me to hunt some animals for a special dinner. If you come along I'll share the reward with you. Would be nice to have a partner along the way."
"Thanks for the offer, but I'll have to decline. I'd rather go train and get money to upgrade my equipment. I'll join up with you afterward."
"Suit yourself." With that she wore a passive expression and walked off, obscuring the light of the sun from his vision as she did so.
What should be noted is the different play styles of the two characters; one focuses further on interaction with others while the other shrugs them off to grind. And here is where the point of the fic comes to light:
The story is about a marriage. A marriage of ideals and play styles intended to further each other to reaching that goal. Without a sense of reality, the optimist will overshoot and let fanciful realities swallow them up. Without a beacon of hope, the pessimist will sit and burn themselves to the ground as they die alone and without the comfort of others. Just as marriage in Sword Art Online is seen as a strategic maneuver for survival to some, here too it serves as the key to escape and success.
And yet the marriage is declined. The boy refuses to partake in the offer given to him. He chooses the cold deceit of self-pity over trying new ways to succeed. And it is through this action that both characters are doomed. When not merged together into a more realist-grounded perspective, they both suffer the defeat of division. The blocking of the sun in the final sentence serves as damnation for both as the potential for greatness is snuffed out forever.
Essentially, without an acceptance of both mindsets and the willingness to cooperate with others, escape from Sword Art Online becomes impossible. When the two mindsets collide and spark together (via Kirito and Asuna), a difference can finally be made and humanity can take another step into the future. And it is this nature that predominates the undertones of the narrative.
So why did it fail? I think the answer is more obvious now than when I wrote it. The piece is so complicated, and trying to get the message across in barely over 600 words is a daunting task indeed. To rely so heavily on a complicated structure and subtle conceits guaranteed that few would sit down and dissect it enough to get it (and damned those who tried, for it was too buried to be found).
In short, it's no wonder the story only has one review (as of this post) that claims it's an "interesting drabble, but rather pointless, really." I basically failed on an epic scale to convey the point of it. I suppose you have to fail quite a few times to get better though. For those of you who enjoyed it nonetheless, I thank you dearly. For those who found contention with it, I thank you as well for taking the time to stop and read it. It was quite a learning experience.
Under the Warm Sky can be read here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9189836/1/Under-the-Warm-Sky